Diary of a Chemist Girl

Why can't they just be normal?

2005-07-17T09:42:00.000+10:00

Cab drivers. Why are 90% of cabbies creepy? I finished work a little late the other night, so I missed my usual bus. As I trudged down to the next stop to wait for an alternate bus, I noticed 2 unsavoury characters sitting on the bench, yelling and drinking tallies. And no one else. Right, this is a sign that I'm supposed to catch a cab.

So I get in the first cab at the rank, the driver is young African guy, late 20's I'd say. He asks me how might day has been, I reply with work and not much else. That's when it gets weird.

Weird Cabbie: "Have you ever heard this song: 'Yippi - de - wow wow wow'" (this is him actually singing the song, it's not on the radio. I told you it gets weird.)

Chemist Girl: (stifling a laugh) "No, can't say that I have."

WC: "You must not go out to many clubs then they play it all of the time."

CG: "No I don't, I'm like an old married woman, yep, married." (I was trying to see how many times I could say married.)

WC: "How many kids do you have then?"

CG: "None."

WC: "If you are married then you are supposed to have kids, that is a womans' job." (Note to anyone who ever talks to me: This is possibly the worst line you could ever say to me. Ever. Except possibly: I like to hurt puppies for fun. Keep that one in mind guys.)

CG: "Well, I don't actually think that is my sole purpose in life, I have a university degree and want to build a career. We're not living in the 1800's."

WC: "It is the mans' job to have a career, a woman is supposed to stay at home and have children." (Second worst line.)

CG: (thinking Yeah, like driving a taxi) "Well I don't believe that at all."

WC: "How come you're not wearing you're engagement ring?"

CG: (Shit, how did he notice that?) "It's being repaired, one of the diamonds came loose."

WC: "If you are not wearing the ring it means you are available."

CG:(Oh my god, he's going to drive me to woods and I'm going to be raped and pillaged, how do I get out of this one.) "No, it doesn't actually, not when you're in a committed relationship."

WC: "Oh, ok."

Phew, he didn't actually say anything else until I got out of the cab.

CG: "Thank you." (I always have to be polite even if the person is a complete dickhead, why am
I like this?)

WC: "That's ok, I think that if you are ever single you should call me."

After all the shit that he has just spouted that goes against everything that I believe, after putting me down and making me feel like I am so far beneath him, a man, he should go and say something like that to me? Now I'm pissed.

CG: "That's never going to happen."

I slam the door as hard as I can and start walking, I wait until he drives off before going anywhere near my house. Ewwwww, I hate creepy people.

As I relay that story to Retail Boy on the phone that night (still in Melbourne) the only thing he has to say is the irony of catching a taxi to get away from the creepy guys, only to be thrown into a worse situation. Thanks, oh darling boyfriend of mine, your concern for my well being is phenomenal.

Long time, no blog.

2005-07-09T18:34:00.000+10:00

Well it's been awhile. Sorry guys for the lack of blogging, I've felt like utter shit for the last two weeks, barely had enough energy to drag myself to work, let alone blog something intelligible. Who am I fooling, I'm never intelligible.

I only started to feel better Thursday just gone. This just happened to be the day that my boss had organised a 'farewell' get together for himself at our local pub/steak house. The funny thing was that he organised the dinner, at a pub, along with an email saying that 'work policies were to apply', at a pub. When questioned about this, he informed this meant a 'limited consumption of alcohol'. At a pub. Do you see where I'm going with this?

Anyhoo, I'd managed to down 5 schooners in an hour (that's limited for me) and then went on my i'm-pissed-and-need-a-ciggy hunt. Found heaven with a Malboro Light, only to be jeered by the non-smokers and reformed smokers alike at the table. The conversation that followed is no dissimilar to the one Mellipop's last post

Work person: 'Chemist Girl! I didn't know you smoked!!!'

Someone else: 'Neither did I.'

Chemist Girl: 'I just have a couple when I'm drinking, I max probably a pack in a year.'

Reformed smoker: 'It's so disgusting, why do you do that to yourself?'

Chemist Girl: 'Ummmm, you used to smoke quite heavily if my memory serves me correctly.'

RS: 'Yes, but know I've seen how gross it is, and bad for you, did you know it's bad for you?'

CG: 'No, really? No one has ever mentioned the dangers of smoking to me before ever. This is such a strange new concept to me.'

Boss: 'Did you know that every cigarette takes 10 minutes off of your life?'

CG: 'Yeah, but it's the end of my life, so it's not like it's going to be interesting or anything.'

That one actually got them all laughing and got the attention diverted to something else, thank god. Heaven forbid I should enjoy myself outside of my working life.

Retail Boy has gone to Melbourne for 2 weeks, so, for now, I am all alone. He left Friday morning and so far I've managed to vacuum the whole house, clean the kitchen , do 4 loads of washing, clean both toilets and the bathroom. And now I'm buggered. It's amazing how productive you can be when you're bored. And not able to shag. Sigh.

Update on the shelter crisis!

2005-06-25T09:59:00.000+10:00

I saw a council working measuring up my shitty shelter (see previous post), so perhaps my shitty shelter may be transformed into a little-bit-less-of-a-shitty shelter. One can only hope.

I'm bored out of my brain today, experiencing less than lovely cramps (males need to avert their eyes now, I'm speaking of womens' troubles) and pondering the outcome of digging my uterus out with a spoon. Do you think this will result in more pain, or less pain?

At work yesterday, I sat in a different seat to my normal and ended up next to one of the guys in my team who's a little on the weird side. After he explained to me all of the horrible things he said to his girlfriend the night before when he was drunk, and told one of the girls in our team that she has broad shoulders (not the best of moves, as I tried to explain) he decides to ask a rather forward question to me. This is how the conversation eventuated:

Crazy Guy: "Have you ever considered prostitution?"

Chemist Girl: "As a job?"

CG: "Yeah, you know, pulling tricks and all of that stuff."

(oh shit, same initials!)

ChemG: "Why? Do I come across as a bit of a whore?"

CG: "No! Not at all, I was just wondering."

ChemG: "You know, strangely, the thought has never crossed my mind."

CG: "Ok, what about stripping?"

ChemG: "Well, I've got some moral issues with that aswell, not that I begrudge anyone who chooses that lifestyle."

CG: "Why wouldn't you?"

ChemG: "I guess I don't like the idea of taking my clothes of in front of strangers, plus I'd have to start shaving my legs more regularly than once every three months."

CG: "And other bits too!"

ChemG: "This conversation just ended."

He also proceeded to tell me everytime that his balls needed scratching, just before scratching them and talked about various euphemisms on life. Ones that I can't repeat. It was actually the most fun that I've had at work in quite awhile.

Off to dose up on Nurofen. Bah.

Um....yes, well, carry on.

2005-06-20T18:39:00.000+10:00

I have just put in a couple of hours overtime at work and don't feel like doing much of anything, I can't believe that's been over a week since I last blogged and absolutely nothing has happened. Nothing. At all. I have the most boring life ever.

It's cold and dismal right now in Brissie, it's been raining for 2 days straight. I had to get up at 6:30 this morning (why, God, why must you torment me?) and go to work for another day of arguing and abuse. My favourite lady in the world told me to, and I quote, 'get fucked you fucking moron', she actually screamed this so loud that it hurt my eardrum. Lovely little diddums she was, one that you could really take home to meet your mum.

Too tired to bitch anymore. Bigger update shortly, I promise.

Bus shelters are shitty shelters

2005-06-11T09:39:00.000+10:00

As I was waiting for the bus yesterday to take me to the 'place of torture', aka work, a sudden sun shower appeared. Now I don't mind rain, especially if I'm inside snuggled under a blanket with a good book. Or if it's bloody hot. In this case it was neither.

I was talking with one of my university lecturers, the topic, the effect of the el Nino on South America I believe, gripping stuff that, his specialty being atmospheric chemistry. We were making our way to Moreton Island on a barge for a two day field trip, aka excuse to drink lots of beer. When, all of a sudden, a sun shower started. He look up to the sky, pondered a moment, and said, 'I just don't get sun showers, the make me feel ill to the stomach'. I look at him and a smile appears on my face, I reply, 'well what happens is the water that's evaporated from the earth condenses in the stratosphere forming clouds......' He's looking at me with his jaw hanging down. 'Um,' he replies, 'do you know what I did my PhD in?'
'Yeah, it was something to do with the sky wasn't it?'
He bursts out laughing, decides I'm his favourite student, and we get shitfaced that night with everyone else on the trip and make him play the didgeridoo. Ah, good times. Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

So, I sit down in the shelter and start to inspect its structure a little more carefully. Only to discover that its a really shitty shelter. First of all, it has no sides. What's with that? Surely shelter building people understand that with rain there's usually wind, and therefore using my unbelievably attuned chemistry skills, I have deduced that rain will rarely fall perpendicular from where it starts. And then, they make the roof part way too small so you sit down and the you're bathed in glaring sun and thinking 'gee, I'm glad this bus shelter is here to shelter me from all of those harmful elements, oh wait, this shelters' a piece of shit!'

Story over. You really start to wonder about the quality of your blog when you start talking about bus shelters.................

I so got checked out!

2005-06-08T20:31:00.000+10:00

On Saturday. By lesbians*. That's right, I'm attractive to both sexes. On that fateful day I headed out into the city, planning to peruse the new shopping complex that had opened(mmmmmm Tiffany's, ahhhhhhhhhhh). I decided to try and look pretty for the day, I didn't bother shaving my legs, jeans were the choice of the day, but I spent more the 5.76 seconds doing my hair, so it was shiny, blonde and pretty girly. Low cut top, pluggers, designer rip-off sunnies and lip gloss, I actually looked half decent for once.

Anyways, I'm walking through the city, listening to my iPod, drinking a grande mocha frappacino (thank you god for starbucks) when I pass two larger girls (ok, butch) wearing mostly black. Both of them look me up and down as I walk past, almost in unison. I couldn't believe it! They were both leering at me, whilst holding hands with each other. It would have been a little freaky if I had have been able to stop pissing myself laughing. Ahhhh, it's hard to be adored by both men and women. Sigh.

*Disclaimer: I believe everyone has a right to the sexuality of their choice and do not abhor those who are in same sex relationships. Some very close friends of mine are gay. Merely pointing out the comical side of being scoped by 2 people, at the same time, who are obviously in a relationship.

2005-06-08T20:29:00.000+10:00

Aftermath of the hail storm I promised piccies of.

2005-06-08T20:28:00.000+10:00

Oh, iPod, how I love thee!

2005-06-08T20:27:00.000+10:00

My dog's latest litter of cuties. (insert girlish squeals and jumping on the spot)

2005-06-08T20:24:00.000+10:00

I've just finished the last bar of caramac that T. has sent over from the UK. Sob.

It's story time old friends

2005-06-04T10:27:00.000+10:00

Walked down the stairs this morning only to find a massive cockroach - alive - and using the dregs of an empty as its own paddle pool. What the fuck is wrong with these disgusting wretched creatures.

Stay away from me please.

Anyhoo, as I was saying in a previous post, I thought that I was going to get fired from my job. It all started with one of those chain e-mails that office people have to send with q's like 'What's your best feature?' and 'Chocolate or vanilla?', just insipid, meaningless time fillers.

So, I get to the question 'What's your favourite drink?'. Answer: 'Stella-act-a-twat'. This drink is commonly known as Stella Artois, it being one of the 'upper class' beers you can purchase in Oz. However, in the UK, where it's as cheap as chips, it is known as Stella-act-a-twat, due to 18-year-old girls going out for a night on the town, drinking far too much, acting like, well, twats, and then proceeding to vomit on the nearest patron. So I send off this e-mail and go home for the night. I'm sitting on the bus when, oh shit, I wrote twat in an e-mail on the work server. Oh shit. They have a profanity filter and strict guidelines with heavy disciplinary action. Oh shit.

This leads to me stressing for the entire night about my fate and pondering the thought of having no money again and having to live on dry cereal and pasta. Retail Boys' words of wisdom:

"Well, it's an American company, and how often do you hear a yank say twat?"

Not helping, you utter tit. As if I can have any sort of reason when I'm stressing out of my brain. Bloody men. I had absolutely no sleep and go to work the next day looking like shite. Only to be told that there is no filter. It's just what they say to scare people, I look through my e-mails to find several other forwards which do, in fact, contain various expletives. Well, there you go.

Chemist Girl's new lesson: Stop giving a shit about anything.

Long week, tired now.

2005-06-03T22:37:00.000+10:00

It seems like I've had the most massive week, and for some reason at work today everyone felt the need to abuse me, which after think about it, isn't that different to my usual day being a debt collector and all.

I'm starting to feel totally run down all the time, I'm feeling myself slipping into monotony and I feel as though I can do absolutely nothing about it. This seems to be everyday for me at the mo:

8:30am: Wake up, stumble naked around the house rubbing my crusty eyes:
8:35am: Shower, wash hair, use all the hot water possible.
8:55am: Wrap myself in a towel and fiddle with iPod on the computer.
9:25am: Put on gaybo work clothes and work face, put my latest playlist on iPod and set out for bus.
10:15am: Arrive near work, purchase random bakery goods to sustain until lunch.
11:00am: Work. Ugh. 8 hours til home time.
7.00pm: Run screaming from the building, screeching hallelujah.
7:45pm: Arrive home, do various cleaning duties, help Retail Boy prepare dinner.
8:15pm: Eat, watch tv, play with iPod some more.
9:15pm: Have sex, fall asleep. Only to wake up and do it all over again the next day....

Is it just me or does this seem like a really boring life? Asked Retail Boy the same question only to be replied with a blank stare. Guess he's just happy at having sex every night.

Had an interesting experience on the bus yesterday, low and behold who should sit right in line of my vision but simple-man-who-eat-things-from-his-body. Oh. My. God. I look up to see this guy do the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't even want to repeat as I know that I'll start gagging all over again. It's making me feel ill just thinking about it. I have to go and lie down now.

I'm baaaaaaacccccckkkk!

2005-05-30T16:57:00.000+10:00

Ok, so my computer absolutely shit itself last week after the big move, and I've only just managed to fix it.

(By fixing it I mean I got Retail Boy to take it to one of those nerdy IT shops so the could fiddle with all of those shiny, pretty coloured bits of plastic in there. T. wasn't around to do it for me. Damn her and her globe trotting ways.)

A tonne of things have happened since I last blogged, here they are in point form:

I moved, fucking finally if I may add. Not that I don't love my mother with all of my little heart, but she's an absolute arse to live with.
I turned 22. Sigh. Older. The last year has passed in an utter blur, where does the time go, I ponder, I think I may have lost a great deal in a drunken blur......
I got an iPod, I'm sure not many of you believe that this may be worthy of being noted in point form, but it is! It is my new love.
I have received praise for the first time at work, from two different people who are higher on the food chain than I am.
I thought that I was going to be fired from my job (will dedicate a post at a later stage).

So, the good things, moving has been fantastic, not the actual task of moving, but the aftermath of it all, having my own space to hang out, living 10k's from the city again is so refreshing, ah all that pollution, and I get to sleep in finally. Turning 22 wasn't that big a deal to me at all, I unpacked various boxes, fiddled with the computer so I could try and play with my iPod, unpacked some more, received my share of birthday sex, ate pizza and cheesecake and consumed a fair amount of beer, went to bed. Nothing exciting at all. I'm becoming one of those married twats that I used to hate so much.

And taking a lead from Mellipop, what the hell is going on with that 'Crazy Frog' ringtone, it's all over the news, save me from a fate worse than death, please.

My plans.....

2005-05-19T09:22:00.000+10:00

Lets just make it clear, I DON'T want to be a debt collector for the rest of my life, previous comments on this blog have suggested that it's a little strange that at 21, I've chosen the life of ringing bastard customers and asking for money. The company that I work for is absolutely massive, and once I've spent 6 months in the job I'm in now (2 of those 6 are already under my belt) you can transfer to different parts of the company.

I'm actually planning on going back to university though, to do my teaching degree. This probably won't eventuate till next year though as I've only just left uni approximately 9 months ago. I don't even know why I'm going back as all I did was bitch and moan about all the work I had to do and how many hours I spent doing inane reading which I've completely forgotten now. I'm just really lucky that I have absolutely insanely good short term recall.

This is how I got through university, not by being a diligent student, studying up every night so I could dazzle my lecturers with my unbelievable intellect, no, by guzzling beer all semester, handing in all my assignments at the last second and then cramming my brain with all the knowledge I needed to pass. This led to many tears and frequent anxiety attacks, not a very nice way to live.

So kiddies, study hard and maybe one day you can be in a job where everybody hates you, just like your Aunty Chemist Girl.

And I'd like to thank.......

2005-05-18T09:21:00.000+10:00

Well guys, I've never been prouder that today, for today is the day that I have found that I'm the third highest search result for the keywords 'female arseholes'. I'm also the top result for '"My Restaurant Rules" Justine a bitch' which I'm quite proud of aswell.

If only everything in life could bring me this much happiness.

Blah, blaherty blah.

2005-05-17T09:23:00.000+10:00

Don't really have a great deal to say at this point. Everything seems to be going ahead smoothly with the move, just have to get everything hooked up (phone, gas, etc) so I don't have to live a life of cold showers, raw food and have no contact to the outside world. Which, by the way, I've done before. Who forgets to tell 18-year-old girls who are moving out for the first time that they need to connect the gas before they move in or they won't be able to have the very useful facility of hot water. I repeat, real estate agents are up the duff.

I have to go to work soon, ugh. This is the word that I always use when talking about work. Sometimes I feel like stabbing myself in the eye with a sharp object just so I don't have to listen to the stupidity that comes out of some of the customers mouths. Probably not the best outlook to have. Here's a typical conversation:

Chemist Girl: "We had an arrangement that you were going to make a payment of $30 on the 13th of May, did you make this payment?"

Stupid Guy: "No, I couldn't afford it, sorry."

CG: "Ok, this has now become a broken arrangement which doesn't look good on your account, you have to keep all the arrangements that you make with us."

SG: "I did keep it, I just couldn't afford to pay it."

CG: (pauses aghast) "Um, ok, intending to pay, and then not, is definitely not keeping an arrangement, you have to follow through with paying for that to happen."

SG: "Ohhhh, ok right."

CG: (repeatedly gives the headset and computer monitor the finger)

Oh god, what wonders are going to occur today.

Hallelujah!!!!

2005-05-14T08:48:00.000+10:00

Chemist girl is no longer homeless, yes, that's right folks, after much searching and bitching, fighting and stressing, a suitable abode has at long last been found!

There is no better feeling, Retail Boy are moving in next Saturday to a cute little townhouse with no adjoining walls with any other house, that's the best bit. When we lived in our old place (with T.) you could constantly hear the 3-year-old shithead kid running throughout the house at all hours of the morning. As well as all of the utter bull that went on with who own which part of the backyard (the neighbour tried to tell me they owned the driveway to a communal yard, when I pointed out the clothesline was clearly on our half of the yard, she replied, "Well the laundry is ours then!!!!", when I told her I was just trying to point out how stupid the comment was she just looked at me blankly, stupid git!)

The only thing that is wrong with the place is that it is managed by the owner, an over-bearing Maltese woman in her 40's. Hopefully she won't be too annoying because the previous tenants have said that she just comes over whenever she feels like it. Me thinks not. She seems to feel some sort of connection with us as Retail Boy is half Maltese, that sat there talking about Malta with me smiling and thinking 'when can we leave'.

But, nonetheless, I'm feeling better than I have in many weeks, and nothing is going to stop that.

Even gitish Maltese women.

Bad Week

2005-05-10T09:19:00.000+10:00

Ok, as I mentioned my grandfather passed away very recently, at 7:35pm 04/05/05, a week after his 72nd birthday. He just couldn't struggle against the cancer any longer and died very peacefully. My nana, aunt and mother were all with him, it's exactly how he wanted to pass on. I promise that my posting will go back to its normal witty, (yeah right) off-handed with light views of life. Just let me do one meaningful post.

The funeral was yesterday, never been to one before, I thought I'd be fine. I hadn't even reached the room thingy you sit in before I started blubbering like a kid. Ugh. I know that it's ok to cry and all that baloney, but it's not so good when your the only one doing it. The curse of having brothers. Retail Boy was fantastic though, I could hardly stand by myself I was that upset but he lead me out of the room, holding me up. God, I love him.

And so ends one of the shittest weeks of my life. A thousand times worse than exam week at uni, and a hundred times worst than the day my mum and dad broke up. Ugh. And now I have to go to work and have people be all empathetically and mushy. Double ugh.

Sorry guys....

2005-05-07T15:16:00.000+10:00

My grandfather passed away a couple of nights ago so I'm not really up to blogging right now. Will post soon, promise.

New link...

2005-05-01T17:18:00.000+10:00

Couldn't go any further with this blog without adding Mellipop, great writing style, very funny adventures, and we have passions for the same things - malboro lights and beer. That's the stuff dreams are made of. Plus she has funny stories about things that have happened on the train. So do I. I'll tell you later......

Feeling blah.....

2005-05-01T16:53:00.000+10:00

Went out for lunch today with my mum, old best friend and retail boy, ended up having a really good time, bundles of laughs and so forth. So, my mum decides it would be a good idea to go and see my grandparents. I don't know if I've told you guys all about how my grandfather is very ill (pancreatic cancer, it's a fucking bitch to put it lightly and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy) and my mum and grandmother have never really gotten along in all of their lives. Now that Pop (what we call him) is getting closer to passing away (only way to put it) it really seems to have brought the family together a whole lot more, which I'm very grateful of.

The thing with my Pop is, I never really thought that he even liked me. I can remember getting one hug from him in my 21 years on this earth and he has never said 'I love you' to me. I, personally, don't hold this against him, I fully understand that his era had a very different way of life where you didn't go around spurting out 'I love you's' to any old sod. I was actually really surprised to see him walking around when we got there. We said our hello's and he sat and talked for about ten minutes before he got tired and had to go to bed. As he was leaving he said, "I know I've never been much for that hugging and kissing stuff, but I want you to know that I've always loved you dearly" and looked right into my eyes. Whoa. Back up a decade and let me know this.

Now I'm sitting here with tears running down my face. The thing is, I'm not worried about him dying, he's gotten to terms with this as has my Nana, but I feel like utter shit that I didn't take more time to get to know him better because I think that he didn't like me. And I hope that I can forgive myself for my stupidity.

Love of my life.....

2005-04-30T17:16:00.000+10:00

Ok, so I'm terribly, ridiculously, unbelievably addicted to reality TV. Show of the moment - My Restaurant Rules. I usually don't get home from work till after nine at night (I know, how hilary up the duff is that?!?!) so I explain to my mother, in lammens, that if MRR is not taped then I will rip out her innards and use them to strangle her. Well.......maybe I'm not THAT addicted, but awfully close. It's very exciting at the mo (well, it is for me alright?), the girls from the restaurants have gone on tour together to review each others restaurants, all solemnly swearing that they would enter the each others restaurants with an open mind and an honest conscious. Yeah right.

My favourite part is how Justine, co-owner of Adelaides' Greedy Goose, is turning her nose up at all the dishes and pulling faces continuoulsly. Really discreetly as well. Right in front of the camera. Nominations are on Sunday night, gather the fam for some wholesome fun.

In other news, I'm utterly titted. Because Retail Boy and I don't get home to very late at night I've decided that the best idea would be to cook all of our meals for the week and thus, would just be able to reheat when we get home, and by saying 'I've decided' that mean 'I have to cook everything'. Blah. Plus I did all the washing today, and the vacuuming, and cleaned the bath, sinks and toilet, and washed up, and folded. Utterly wankered I is.

Bah, bed now.

Livin' in the sticks, like a common hick.

2005-04-30T08:32:00.000+10:00

It's really annoying living so far away from everything, I can see why I moved out of in the first place. We're a 15 minute drive from the closest train station and the buses in the area only go there once every 3 hours. Slight exaggeration but understandable if you were me. So, living in the sticks has, once again, left me nothing to do except ask my little bro to take me shopping at the local hole.

*****NEWS FLASH******

This is the last happenings of my little crud town that managed to get into the news:

'One man has been arrested, and is being tried, for hitting another man with a tomahawk (had to look up the spelling, must be getting dumber in crud town, me thinks) in the back of the head. Allegedly, the man was practicing throwing the implement, when the other man was struck on the head. A result from the hearing is expected shortly.'

Nice. I'm glad that I live in a town that really get back to their roots, even if it's there American brothers roots. They could have at least been throwing boomerangs.

I am an insensitive bitch.

2005-04-24T18:50:00.000+10:00

I met up with some friends who I haven't seen in, quite literally years. Friends from high school who I've seemed to slip out of touch with over the years. One, my best friend for the last two years of my higher schooling. He took me to my formal, out to movies and always invited me over for family bbq's. We were never anymore than friends, contrary to popular belief, even though we were pushed quite feverently by family on both sides. We just never thought of each other romantically even though we could talk to each other about everything and were absolutely inseparable. Until high school finished that is, we went to different uni's, fell into different crowds, yada yada yada, happens to most people after they leave high school I guess.

Two, the quiet, lovely, drop dead gorgeous girl who all the boys loved at school but never asked out because she was utterly unreachable. I ran into her waiting for a train and caught up on everything. Told she looked utterly beautiful as I used to always do at high school, even wearing the shitty school uniform, and she waved it away in the usual fashion, commenting about how her mother thinks that I look like a young Bo Derek (found lots of naked photos whilst searching for one with a minor similarity to the way I look, can't be a good sign).

Anyhoo, back to being an insensitive bitch, D.,(best friend from high school) and my family were always connected in some way. Our parents knew each other, our siblings knew each other, even our grandparents lived in the same community for the old fogies. So, being the kind friend that I am, I inquire as to the whereabouts of D.'s grandmother, asking "didn't she move out of the community for the old fogies?"

"Yes," he replied, looking around nervously, "she, um, actually died a month ago."

Oh. My. God. I am an utter shit. Note to self, don't ask about how old people are doing, the might not be around anymore. Then he got teary. Ugh, very ugh. I can usually handle when women are crying, they are quite fond of it in my experience. But when grown men start to get teary, that brings on the water works. And I feel like an utter shit.

So, in future, I plan to just talk about my oldies until the other party mentions theirs, safest bet all round. Might also fend off the feeling of being an utter shit.

Family day out

2005-04-20T09:26:00.000+10:00

I went to have lunch with my mother and Retail Boy on Sunday, this happens regularly now as mum and Retail Boy seem to get on better than I do with either one of them. Probably not a good thing.......

Anyhoo, mum was trying to convince us that the local pub (which I call the pubic bar, instead of public bar, see that clever play on words, did you see that?) does a brilliant steak sanga. We decided to give it a shot, even though I knew it would be full of bums and the best derelicts the town has to offer. So, we arrived at the pubic bar, and I pointed out numerous times that it's called the pubic bar till mum got angry and told me to shut up, only to find a massive squished cockroach. If you've read this blog recently you would understand that I don't fare well with any part of the roach family, even that of the squished variety. We walked in further with myself exclaiming that I wanted extra cockroach on my sandwich until mother dearest told me to shut up again. All this effort to find that the kitchen is actually closed on Sundays. A huge sign that my mother had just neglected to see the previous times she had been there. We set off to a steak house instead with my mother repeatedly asking if she could have a takeaway beer, until I told her to shut up.

I guess that some things do run in the family.

Renting is up the duff.

2005-04-16T12:27:00.000+10:00

Looking for a new place to live seems to now be consuming all of my being. Even as I'm sitting here and writing this post I find my becoming distracted every 2 minutes by telling myself I need to check if there are any updates on the web. I can't understand why it is so hard to find a decent place to live that doesn't resemble a part of the ghetto.

One of the girls from work (who is also house hunting right now) and I seem to be talking about it non stop. This is the girl who trained me, who actually is me, but 10 years older. We even have the same birthday. I keep telling her that we are cosmically connected and we are destined to work side by side forever talking about the lack of renting prospects in Brisbane. I asked her the other day if I was "the best person that she had ever trained in her whole entire life?", she just laughed and said, "easily, my cosmic sister." She's one top sheila.

Finance Boy also had an interview to go for a permanent position yesterday. He had his interview before me, so I asked him how it went and what sort of questions they asked him. All I have to say about him is he's an utter tit and I'm never asking him a question ever again. After I asked how did he go, he replied "I always interview well, I'm just good at it." Yeah, sure thing you arrogant shithead. So I asked him what sort of questions they asked, he replied "this and that." It's not like we were competing for the same position, there's more jobs than they can fill at the moment. Why even bother being such an idiot? I LOVE the fact that everyone in my group likes me and thinks he's a massive git. LOVE IT.

All alone, what to do.

2005-04-16T08:58:00.000+10:00

It's Saturday and I'm all alone. This isn't how it's supposed to be. Usually, I'd have T. quietly knocking on the door right now asking me when we can go and drink beer and partake in other wholesome activities.

Sigh.

But now I'm stuck by myself, out in the sticks, with only sport on TV and books to keep me company (reading Life of Pi at the moment, very good, highly recommend it). So I've been reading and now my eyes are fuzzy, watched TV and got bored after 2 minutes, now I'm on the net, is there anything else I can do with the rest of the day? Help, oh god, please help me!

Work has kept me utterly busy for the last week, as I have to spend around 3 hours out of my day travelling, all I seem to be doing is sleeping, so as not to be tired for work, traveling to work, and working. I did have my interview yesterday for my permanency as a debt collecting bastard. That's how one person has referred to me, my other favourite - legalised crook.

All right, I'm going to cook breakfast now, but when I get back, someone better have told me what I can do!

The worries of life......

2005-04-02T15:36:00.000+10:00

There are few things that worry me in life, well, actually I can be a compulsive worrier at times but that is beside the point. Here's a list of the things that do worry me:

Walking into the female toilets at work at approximately noon, proceeding to a cubicle only to see both the lid and seat up, and knowing that the cleaner does not arrive until after 4.
The suburb in which I work. It's packed full of old people but because it's now a 'trendy' suburb (meaning used to be full of crack whores and lower society but has now become very cool to hang out at on the weekend. Think the Valley or West End, Brisbanites) the old people have banded together in some sort of weirdo cult and decided that even though they are far past their prime, it's time to wear inappropriate clothing, i.e. midriffs, leather pants, berets (for men), very high stilletos, and my personal favourite, a t-shirt with Britney Spears on it. Highly entertaining nonetheless.
Carnies, need I say more?
My mum knowing that I sleep in the same bed as Retail boy, still freaks me out after two years. And also the fact that she may realise that we're trying to have a silent shag. Highly worrying.

Thought that I was worried about far more a many thing, but evidently no. I'm bored, wish T. was here.

Sigh.

Farewell T., have a good one!

2005-03-31T09:12:00.000+10:00

Getting up at 6 in the morning should be considered as a crime against nature. Good god. It's absolutely killing me. And now tomorrow I have to put in three hours of overtime when I thought that I would be able to have the morning off. Shite is what it is. Yes, the previous sentence is definitely grammatically correct.

I finally took my first calls yesterday evening at work. All the people that I got to talk to were really nice and that was a change from the usual arseholes I get talking to my trainer. So far I seem to be doing well, but we'll see how long that lasts for. I got in trouble for saying, "have a good one!" to a person who had been particularly helpful. My trainer who is a bit of a knob said, "have a good one, hey? Are they teaching that in training now?" This is from a man who says "tootles" to fair amount of the people he talks to. So sorry.

T. and I went out for farewell beers last night as she is leaving the country for at least 6 months in less than 24 hours. I got all emotional and teary as I'll have no one to hang out with on Saturday's, make fun of young girls dressed like whores, or watch reality tv with. I am utterly depressed. I bought her Belle de Jour's book, The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl, she complained that it wasn't chocolate and said everyone will look at her weirdly on the plane for reading a book about a hooker. Actually, when I bought the book, I had to ask the elderly lady who worked there where abouts it was, I told her the title, she looked at me quizzically, and took me to where it was. Yes, old bag, I'm getting hints and tips for my own whoring business. Sheesh. I flicked through the book though, and it seems to be a really good novel (or autobiography, I don't know if she really is a prostitute though), well written and highly entertaining, even if the content isn't your usual style.

So I bid thee adieu, T., and most importantly, have a good one.

Who says it doesn't snow in QLD?

2005-03-27T18:13:00.000+10:00

We had the most massive hail storm at my mum's house late yesterday afternoon, I mean HUGE. We heard it start so we rushed to the front door to find 3 young teenage girls huddled under our front verandah, wearing singlets and pluggers. We ushered them inside, lectured them about not going into strangers houses, gave them left over Easter chocolate, lectured them about taking things from strangers, then watched the storm as they scoffed their faces with the cheap chocolate that Retail Boy lovingly bought, not understanding that there is a difference between Lindt and anything called compound chocolate, his innocence is so refreshingly sweet and lovely sometimes. Their father then peeled around the corner looking for them, with the youngest of the three yelling out, "thank you for your hospitality!" as she rushed to her car. (On a side note, his car was covered with grass and leaves, my mother asked on of the girls, "does your father always drive around in a camouflaged car?" The girl replied, "he's not my dad", very seriously to my mum. Ok, not the point I think.)

We got a couple of pictures of the storm that I'll have to post once I get back on to my own pc, it seriously looks like snow. It was so excellent to watch! The only thing that I was worried about was that our car got stuck out in the storm, bombarded with marble sized chunks of ice. We had just picked up some groceries and it started just as we returned home. So I'm running around stressing about the car, and asking Retail Boy all sorts of questions about our insurance. Instead of being worried, he just walked around the kitchen, asking casual questions like, "where do the breadrolls go?" and, "can you show me where to put the coffee?" Like I said, refreshingly sweet and lovely, if not a tad indifferent sometimes.

T.'s name change

2005-03-26T10:45:00.000+10:00

T. has changed the name of her blog to 'Diary of an (ex-)Office Wench'. Sorry T., you get absolutely no points for orginality, besides, I think that 'T. loves Cock' had so much more appeal. My suggestions all go to waste.

Sigh.

What to do........

2005-03-26T09:06:00.000+10:00

I am utterly bored, beyond all reason, even belief. Retail Boy has gone down to the cricket nets with my little bro so they can hit a ball over and over again with a piece of carved wood. Sorry fellas, count me out. So, I've spent the last couple of hours reading various blogs of the links of people I link to, if that makes sense. And also, the infamous Belle de Jour, hooker by day, well night too I guess and an author in her spare time. Her writing style is fantastic, her content is witty and concise, I wish she still wrote it, but I guess you don't write for free when you could get paid, unless you're Mark, of course.

So, now I'm bludging around the house doing random cleaning tasks and reading Angela's Ashes (p.s. don't get typhoid fever, it sounds like a bitch to have) and playing with my dog. Fun day all 'round. Jolly good then.

It's actually really good having a few days off in a row though, I've spent so many days getting up early and packing that now it seems to be in my head that I have to get up at 6 in the morning no matter what day it is. So now I find myself waking up, trying to go back to sleep for half and hour, then prodding Retail Boy awake so that I have someone to talk to. It's blurry annoying. Maybe valium is the only way out..........

Role reversal

2005-03-25T10:38:00.000+10:00

Big time. While I stayed at home last night and caught up on e-mails and washing and things of that like, my mother went out with my aunty and painted the town red. She returned home at around two in the morning, pissed as a fart, and banged around the house until she managed to find the bed. Um, yeah, hi from the 21-year-old who stays home and washes laundry whilst their mother goes out boozing it up! Anyway, she had to start work at 6:30 this morning, and it was just after nine when I got this call:

Mum: "Hi sweetie" (she sounds very tired)

Me: "Hey, what's wrong?"

Mum: "Well, um I'm a little hung over, um well actually a great deal hung over, could you bring some ginger ale to me?"

Me: (pauses) "Are you serious?"

Mum: "Yes, please, I'm very bad."

So this is how I ended up driving to my mothers work, blind dog in tow, to deliver 3 cans of Kirks Ginger Ale.

Different abode, same boring stuff

2005-03-24T20:56:00.000+10:00

The move is complete, I'm officially living at home again. Well, I guess it could be worse, I could be an unemployed bum like T. Get a job, you worthless hippie. The moving of houses was totally gay and took heaps longer than either Retail Boy or I ever expected, how does one accumulate so much useless shit? I throw everything out, but I still seem to have an endless supply of crap, it's driving me utterly insane.

You know what I find surprising, it's been three days since I posted and I still have absolutely nothing to say. I am the queen of boringness. I guess I'll fill this with inane shite about work then.

I got paired up with a different person at work today (if you're new you get 'buddied' up). We called up a guy who was at least 6 months overdue he answered and when we asked for him he replied with,

"Oh, um.....you've, um, reached (enter name), um, yeah, leave a message and your phone number after the beep."

This was then followed by a person pressing a key on their phone, then very heavy breathing. What a nutter! Pissed myself laughing for the rest of the afternoon. We also had people dressing up in Easter bunny costumes, dispensing endless chocy eggs and hot cross buns lathered in butter. Oh yeah. That's the shit.

In other work news, I think that one of the guys who was in my training group has fallen in love with me. Yeah, this is really good. Now he keeps coming up to me and saying weird things that he's already informed me of, changing plans when I say I'm going for after work drinks, and changing places with people so that he's walking next to me. This is so very bad. Flattering, but very bad. The exact same thing happened at my old job, I made a great connection with a guy that I worked with, he then told me that "Retail Boy is the luckiest guy in the world to have you as a girlfriend", realised that I wouldn't be leaving Retail Boy to run to the corners of the earth with him, then never talked to me ever again. Is that even allowed?

Pfft, I'll just pretend that I don't even notice, ignorance is a viable method of defense for me.

Ugh.

2005-03-21T09:35:00.000+10:00

More packing to be done, it seems mountainous and never ending.

Ugh.

It's got to be done.

Ugh.

Then I have to go to work.

Very ugh.

Packing. Tired.

2005-03-20T21:41:00.000+10:00

I am oh so tired, my friends. I don't know how I even have the concentration to be able to do this post, let alone stay awake. Retail Boy and I have been packing all day. And I mean all day. Except for having a shag this morning, I have not one good memory of the day, not one. Well maybe a couple but they were limited. Here's a list of the things I did today:

Went up (and down) a service elevator 4 separate times. Those are the types of elevators were you have to open and close the doors yourself. I particularly like the time I was wheeling the trolley into the elevator and Retail Boy decided it was a good idea to start closing the door, almost sending our possessions everywhere.
Got my boxes of random crockery and such from underneath the house. Which is full of dust. And bugs. And massive cockroaches, which I happen to love.
Washed these things from under the house for a total of 2 hours. Entrancing stuff that.
Went through a lot of my old papers from high schools. Most embarrassing thing found -Backstreet Boys cassette tape. I was 14, leave me alone.

So yes, fun day has been had by all. Retail Boy is now snoring in bed, ah to sleep.

When I was at the movies the other day seeing House of Flying Daggers, I walked out and heard a young guy explaining to his girlfriend that the lead actress, Zhang Ziyi will be playing Sayuri in the movie of the amazing book Memoirs of a Geisha (his date replied, "what's Memoirs of a Geisha?" I had to summon all my strength not to turn around and slap the girl and demand she give me a couple hours of her time so I could explain how it is one of the loveliest books ever written). T. went on the internet tonight to see if she could find anything about it. We were lucky enough to discover a site on the movie, and that everyone in the cast is clearly Chinese, not taking into account that the book actually takes place in Japan. Nice. Talk about typecasting.

I'm going to bed, my eyes are starting to close.

2005-03-19T10:21:00.000+10:00

mmmmmmmmmm peppermint fudge (imagine chemist girl stuffing her face!)

Get fudged.

2005-03-19T09:30:00.000+10:00

T. bought me fudge after she went out for dinner last night, little gem she is. My favourite was the turkish delight fudge. Recommend it to all!

This is the first day that I've got to sleep in after 7 in the morning all week and I'm absolutely buggered. Even though I've just slept 10 hours, I still feel really tired. I think my body is all fucked up this last week from lack of sleep. And stress. So yay!

I actually have nothing at all to say, so yes, carry on, amuse yourselves................

(why do I post this drivel?)

The friday afternoon ritual

2005-03-18T19:41:00.000+10:00

Now what is that children? That's right, beers and bitching. Or in my case 5 buck cocktails and bitching. A select group, meaning the in crowd (when someone said this I replied with the people who don't shit me off crowd) went to the pub to celebrate with post training beers. Then the knives came out! Everyone started slagging off people who weren't there, saying things that they'd seen or heard, calls that they had taken and so forth. God, it was fun! I didn't realise how much I missed this ritual, I guess I'm a bitch at heart.

Totally off the topic, but Surf Chick and I nipped into the loos after our morning break, we were washing our hands when a lady who worked there walked in, ripped off her shirt and started soaping under her arms. "Don't mind me girls," she said to us, "went out last night and didn't get a chance to go home before work!" I must have looked shellshocked because Surf Chick had to nudge me and she replied for me. I just smiled and walked out. Good god, who does that sort of shite?

Real estates are bastards.....and so are those massive cockroaches

2005-03-17T21:01:00.000+10:00

God I hate them. Retail Boy and I, for some unknown reason, did not get approved for this place that we were sure that we would get. Bastards. I wouldn't have really minded that much, but they informed us it would be 48 hours, which I think is a bit unreasonable, and when they finally did call us they tried one number (home phone, at 10 in the morning, I wonder if people work at this time of day?) and then waited for us to call them. I've said it before and I'll say it again.....BASTARDS! I might even take a leaf out of Mellipop's book and call them 'critters'. Read her blog, you'll definitely understand were she's coming from. We were absolutely sure that we would be moving out on Saturday. Not the case now, unfortunately. We'll have to work out what we are going to do. Shit.

Well, today can go down as the day that I got to listen in on arsehole calls. No talking, just listening. I can't believe the excuses that some people come up with. I actually can't disclose anything because of the privacy act, and massive fines, yada yada yada. But, nevertheless, my job is going to be an interesting one that's for sure.

I HATE cockroaches. Oh. My. God. I cannot begin to stress the amount that I hate the bastards. For reasons unknown to myself, they seem to feel some sore of affinity towards me and find the best course of action is to gravitate in my direction, i.e. fly directly at my head.

Last night, I saw something scamper across the floor into the front room. The following conversation with T. followed:

Me: "Oh my god! I either just saw a small rodent or a large cockroach go into the front room!"

T.: "Really? Which one?"

Me: "I don't know, but you have to go check it out because I'm a big sissy girl."

T.: (rolls her eyes at me, but proceeds to the front room) "It's making a shitload of noise!"

Me: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" (cautiously pulls blanket over entire body)

T.: "It's a cockroach, it's one of those big flying ones." (starts jolting around, hopping in and out of the room)

Me: "Ahhhhhhh! Stop moving like that!" (cowers)

T. then proceeded to close the door and go to fetch her pluggers. She returned, holding one in each hand, and looks at the door. Then, she looks at me with a massive smile walks to the door and whallops it as hard as she can. The bastard had crawled through the crack under door! Then the cockroach, which was this big (imagine me holding my index fingers a metre and a half apart), starts running for me. I let out a bloodcurdling scream and T., the mouse and cockroach slayer, smacks the bastard, squishing the shite out of it.

Good on ya T., you're a champ in my eyes.

I am the ultimate quiz master

2005-03-15T18:29:00.000+10:00

I have the coolest training program ever! They are interspersing the training schedule with quizzes. Training Lady split us up into three groups and told us to chose a name. We then had a 'Sale of the Century' type game where I pretty much got every question I was asked. Then we had two general knowledge quizzes and a pictorial quiz (I guessed that Ozzy Osbourne's name is John, oh yeah I'm the best). Surfing Chick thinks that we have the 'cool factor' under control. ("Look at everyone else," she said, "we're totally rocking!") We're coming second by two points, and it's getting competitive. Everyone is screaming over the tables, swearing at each other, and trying to swindle points for things that they've crossed out. Cheating bastards!

It's going well though, I'm a bit sunburnt from walking to get lunch. Other than that, I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Except for the fact that I've been put in the group with finance boy, the ONLY person that I wasn't keen on working with. And I've already talked with Training Lady about going permanent and she said that it would most probably be fine. I was expecting for the training to be very boring and that I would hate the job from word go. We'll give it a couple of weeks and see if I can get that bitterness in me, hey?

Worked until my fingers bled.

2005-03-14T20:16:00.000+10:00

Well, not really. The job seems to be going quite well though. Even though I'm starting out as a temporary employee, the chance of going to full time seems very likely. There also seems to be a good chance of promotion within the workplace, if you're the right type of person I guess.

I'm being trained with about 12 other people, and it's so interesting to see how people act around others that they don't know. Because I get along with everyone, I managed to say at least a couple of sentences to everyone who was there. There were a few who just kept to themselves, I'm definitely not that type of person, so I found that the loudest girl (she kept talking about surfing, drinking, the band Gomez and how smoking calms her. Absolute cack!) and started chatting.

There is one guy in the group who's, well, a little odd lets say. He has a masters in finance, so you'd think he could find a job somewhere quite easily. Having said that though, only 3 or 4 people there don't have a university degree or are in the process of getting one. Anyway, back to finance boy. We were doing a stupid quiz that tested if you were a genius, you know the ones. Well he'd been talking himself up all day, so I thought that he would do quite well. But, alas, when I marked his paper he got 8 right out of about 30 (me: 19). Most people got around 10 anyway, so he didn't have to be worried. He started making a speech about how that doesn't test intelligence, and tests on the internet are false, yada yada yada. I kept on looking at Surfer Girl and she was pulling faces and making me laugh. I don't think that he likes me anyhow.

Dealing with customers starts next week, I'll let you know...........

House stuff. Mouse slayer.

2005-03-13T12:38:00.000+10:00

I had originally planned to have moved out by today. As it happens though, you apparently need about 300 forms of ID at this real estate just to get considered for a place, so we have to wait at least two days for this to happen. Then, Retail Boy had to ring the real estate 5 separate times, because (a) we're not on a lease, (b) I've never had a phone account in my name, (c) I'm still on my mum's Medicare card, (d) we don't have rent receipts, and so on and so on. This is all too stressful.

So we had to move our boxes of stuff from one side of the house to the other because of an expected piece of furniture. I happen to believe that a mouse lives in one of these boxes. This is because one night T. and I had a few bevies and we decided to watch some reality TV. We were talking and laughing when we heard weird noises coming from the pile of boxes, weird squeaking noises. I made T. go over there because I'm a big girl when it comes to anything furry, and she started moving boxes, looking for the suspect. All of a sudden, "there it is!" She moved another box which inadvertently dropped a box directly on top of this mouse. "SQEAKKKKKKK!" was all I heard and saw T. standing back, aghast with a hand over her mouth saying, "it squeaked at me!" and looking worried.

T., the mouse slayer.

The queens of inappropriateness

2005-03-12T12:36:00.000+10:00

Every now and then my mother will come out with a killer line that will leave everyone in hysterics. There has been a massive ho-ha in the last couple of years in Australia over the chef Jamie Oliver (I'm not bothering with a link because if you don't know him you must live under a rock). My mum, for some reason or another, has never liked the guy. One of my other friends was exclaiming one day how cute and adorable he is. My mother just gave this girl a weird look and said, "yes, well I think he looks slightly retarded." She then kept on talking just as if she had said nothing wrong. Of course everyone gasped around her, and she replied to this with, "what? Well he does! You can't say that he doesn't!" Ahhhhh, parents.

T. said something equally distasteful, but, I'm a little guilty to say, extremely funny, last night. It all started by us watching an episode of Cheaters last night. The conversation followed something like this:

Me: "Do you remember "That Girl" who we went to school with? She was in love with that tall guy who sat near us?"

T.: "Yeah! What did we call his brother again?"

Me: "Nappy rash!" (he mooned us one day and he had red spots all over his arse, hence nappy rash followed. We were 14, leave us alone)

T.: "She was such a skank."

Me: "You probably shouldn't talk about her like that because, you know......"

T.: "Why?"

Me: "Well because she's dead." (she choked on her own vomit after a big night out. It was extremely sad. We both didn't know her then though, she had changed schools.)

T.: "Well, if she was alive, she definitely be a skank."

I looked at her with a look of absolute shock and horror on my face. Oh my god. Then retail boy piped in:

RB: "Well, would she be a skank?"

Me: "Well, yes, but that's entirely beside the point!!!"

At this point we're all in stitches. And I have this very bad, guilty feeling.

I give in to peer pressure.

2005-03-11T15:10:00.000+10:00

I've given in to peer pressure folks, I've added comments to my blog (yes, thanks to you Mark). I didn't really have any intention of doing it as I've read others comments and realised that a great deal of illeterate, incompetent, uneducated wankers decide to write comments. T. seems to think that it'll give me more feedback but if the feedback is:

"I like totally luv ur site, it's sooooooooooo cool. My names Dickhead n i luv 2 sk8 n go 2 movies n stuff. Ur gr8."

I'm going to can the whole thing. T. is planning to start a new blog when she gets back from overseas and she doesn't know what to call it as she will no longer be an Office Wench. I suggested "T. Loves Cock", she laughed her arse off and said I was funny. Not keen on it though. If you've got an idea for her, let her know.

Ahhhhhhh, I love afternoon beers.

I'm all man baby!

2005-03-11T12:42:00.000+10:00

That's right baby, all man. I tried out this new "Gender Genie" thing, if you haven't heard of it you just plug in a couple of your blog entries (at least 700 words) and then the site determines if you are male or female from your writing. The site gave me a score of approximately 1400 for female and over 2000 for male. When I told T. the scores that I got she replied with, "shit! you're more of a man than I am!" Yes, I replied, my penis is far more prominent.

Having to deal with all of this house shit is utterly gay. Plus, Retail Boy is being a turd at every possible opportunity throughout the looking for a suitable abode. I absolutely hate moving, shitest task in the world. We may have found a place though, it's a little exy (meaning expensive) but it's less than a minute to the train station which is rather good. Have to see if we can afford it.

I swear that I live in the weirdest neighbourhood. T. and I were walking back from a visit to the corner store to retrieve sugary goodness, and we see a lady (T. thought that it was a man, different to this one though) walking up the steps in a t-shirt and undies. Very visible, old, green, granny undies. It (enter gender of choice) turned around and looked at us and then kept going. Absolutely crazy.

Finally taken the hint

2005-03-10T15:08:00.000+10:00

It seems that the girl from 'Things I hate about my flatmate' has finally taken the hint and pissed off. She finished her site today, saying that she can't handle it anymore and is moving out. If I was her flatmates, I think that I'd be glad. From reading her archives she seemed a little crazy.

Oh, and my tooth seems fine now, still suffering from the idioterisis.

The idiot returns.

2005-03-10T14:04:00.000+10:00

I just went to take a swig out of my 2lt diet vanilla coke bottle (yes, from the bottle, I'm the only one who drinks from it, is that alright?) only to discover that there was a massive block of ice in it. Needless to say, I didn't realise this and as I brought the bottle to my lips, the ice block dislodged causing the bottle to slam right into my front tooth. Can I just say "ouch"?

I then spent the next ten minutes with a metallic bloody taste in my mouth, standing in front of the mirror, adamant that the tooth that I hit is now further forward than the tooth next to it. Did you hear me? Further forward. I hit my tooth backwards, and now I think that its moved because it is further forward.

I am SUCH an idiot.

How to get that job, how to get that job!

2005-03-10T12:57:00.000+10:00

I have this going over and over again in my head. You know, from that stupid Sarina Russo ad. That's right, I got the job! I'll be working in the collections agency. So pay your goddamn bills bitches! I only had to do a phone interview which worked out well, she said that she was very impressed and hired me on the spot. Not bad, not bad.

So I start on Monday, yay for not being impoverished anymore. I just know that the work is going to be the boringest shite ever, but hey, I get to sit down on my arse I all day so I couldn't be bullocked. Ahhhhhhhhhh, the life of a call centre operator.

In other news, my phone is totally falling to bits. I was talking on it this morning to the interviewer, and the screen just falls off completely. This phone has been smashed so many times, I don't know how it is humanly possible that it is still running. I've dropped it off a balcony, I've opened my bag and flung it across a lecture room, I've dropped it countless times in female toilets (most of the times being drunk). This has always resulted in me rushing around, scooping up random pieces of phone very red-faced, and then, miraculously, mushing it back together (because now little clasp things and other bits are missing). I need a new phone.

You make me go la la

2005-03-09T12:22:00.000+10:00

Has anyone else noticed how unbelievably annoying that Ashlee Simpson song is? And tell me this: who does one indeed make another person go 'la la'? Is she saying that this person makes her go crazy, or that they just make her want to sing inanely (and off-key if I may mention)? Bloody annoying nonetheless.

Don't really have anything to write, don't actually know why I'm wasting your time with a post at all. There is a new very old and very disgusting man working down at our corner store. I actually saw him last week when T. and I were saying goodbye to another employee who works there and is leaving because he got a better job (which would be anything compared to working there). So, anyway, our friend called out to us and we went over to tell him that we were being followed by a man in a dress (long story, we live in a strange neighbourhood ok?) and Disgusting Old Guy was there with him. We started talking to our friend and he kept butting in with, "how are you ladies doing?" and, "don't believe anything he says girls, heh heh," and proceeded to look at us in a very lewd fashion. DOG then left and we asked our mate if he knew him, and he said, "yeah, he's just been trained at (insert store name)". We paused for a moment before I said, "is he 110 years old?"

Ugh guys, very ugh.

Can I have some money please?

2005-03-09T09:58:00.000+10:00

I was sitting on the bus yesterday coming home from the city, and a lady in her early fifties sat down next to me with her two friends occupying the seats in front of me. After she sits down, she reaches into her bag and pulls out an ancient mobile phone, even older than mine (I have a nokia 3210). She then proceeds to tell me that she has no idea how to use it and, "if I would mind helping her?" I grab the phone and work it out and then she starts having this conversation:

BusLady: "Hello? Are you there?"

PhoneMan: (slightly muffled) "Yes! Is that you Linda?"

BL: "Yes it's me dear, we got it, we got the settlement."

PM: "Excellent! I knew you would. How much did it end up being?"

BL: "Two million and ninety thousand dollars." (this is where I gasp)

PM: "Really?"

BL: "Yes, 90 thousand goes to lawyers and the three of us split the rest. We get the payment in 90 days."

This is where it reaches my stop and I have to get off the bus, I considered staying on the bus just so I could find out why she was getting that much money (my mum would be proud). I couldn't believe that there would ever be a situation that you would be in where you would be given that much money. I relayed this story to T. when I got home. The first thing she said was, "did you ask for some of her vast fortune for helping her with the cruddy phone?"

Yes T., I'm in the business of extorting elderly ladies for their fortune. What a nutter.

I say bah to titles.

2005-03-08T18:23:00.000+10:00

I've got a new link for all of you, papertrap [dot] net, written by Mark. I think he's secretly in love with T., he even wrote her a sonnet. Kids these days. Anyhoo, I think it's a very well written blog (are you noticing a trend about my links yet?) and good for a laugh. Check it out.

Another reason why I'm an idiot

2005-03-08T17:06:00.000+10:00

Conversation with the girl at the Starbucks counter:

Girl: "Hi there!"

Me: "Hi."

Girl: "What can I get you then?"

Me: "Um.........Are the frappuccinos hot or cold?"

Girl: (looks at me as if I'm from another planet because I don't know anything about Starbucks and their coffees) "Well, there blended with ice, that's what frappuccino means, so they're cold."

Me: "Ok, sounds good."

Telling you, total dickhead!

I wonder if all skills tests are so easy?

2005-03-08T15:46:00.000+10:00

I walked into the employment agency looking like an utter slapper today. I was wearing jeans, no makeup, my hair was unkempt, and I was wearing pluggers. Haviannas to the people who think that they're cool. All the people that I met though were extremely nice and smiley and beautiful. Firstly, I apologised for my appearance. Then I had to ask where the bathroom was (a grande mocha float will do that to you). I must have looked like such a bum, for a change.

But, yes, where was I? Skills test, that's right, such a rambler! After I filled in a million forms they got me to do a skills test for Microsoft Office 2000. This involved showing how I could open up folders and rename them and such. My god. The funny thing is though I kept making errors because I would accidently click somewhere on the screen that was the 2cmx2cm icon I was supposed to be clicking, this is a mistake apparently. You see, if you did this in any sort of employment scenario it would most definitely be a costly error.

Looks like this job at the call centre might be a goer though, just have deal with all the shite that comes with it unfortunately. If I get it I'll be working for a very prominent finance company that if you don't pay them in a certain amount of time, they charge you a crapload of interest. I'm going to be a debt collector. The woman at the employment agency asked me today "if I was sure I could handle that sort of thing". My reply was, "Yeah! I get to tell people off!!!" This was answered with a "i'm uncomfortable so I'll smile till my comfort is returned" smile.

I'm such an idiot.

Off to a skills test

2005-03-08T14:07:00.000+10:00

I've just rung up about the call centre job and they are sending me off to do a skills test. I've never done one of these tests before, it's a little nerve-racking.

You see, I am, unfortunately, one of those people who get freaked out very easily. This is one of the reasons that I'm am still only on my learner license, whilst most of my friends are experiencing the great fun of having their opens. I think about myself in a test situation and I totally freak out. I guess that I just don't like the feeling of not being in control. God, I hope that I'm able to type and don't look like the biggest dickhead of all times in there. Wish me luck.

On another note, I just checked my stats for this blog, it seems that some resourceful individual managed to get onto my site by searching "bra biggest tits"

Lovely!

Unemployment bites

2005-03-08T12:15:00.000+10:00

That's right, it bites arse. Hey, I've got a question for you! Why do they interview people for jobs when they know fully well they never intend to hire them as they have three other people coming in later that day with far more experience and higher qualifications even though it is an entry level position? Hmmmmm? Why? Answer me goddamn it!!!

The world is full of gits. As you can tell I got knocked back for the job, or did you not understand this from the previous paragraph? I'm actually not that upset, I didn't really want the job at all because it seemed like it would be a ton of work, and very monotonous and boring, the money factor is more what interested me. Now I have to go and work at a call centre.

Good god.

I hate text messaging.

2005-03-07T20:30:00.000+10:00

Everyone seems to be jumping on the bandwagon that is technology. Even the elderly, namely my Nan. Our family only recently found out that my grandfather is terribly sick, pancreatic cancer which is one of the most painful supposedly. Due to this, I get random texts from my Nana, saying how they are going. I feel awful saying this, but I'd rather she didn't do it at all.

I received one of these messages in question today stating, "Pop has just finished working out the plan for his funeral just to make sure that there is no pressure when he passes." I don't know if anyone else has received something like that, but I absolutely freaked out. Not on the outside though, just inwardly. I calmly told retail boy what the message said then went back to staring at the TV. Inside I was screaming, I mean screaming so fucking loud inside my head that if I had done so audibly, police would have been at my house within minutes.

I'm sure this seems like strange behaviour to some people, the truth of the matter is that I'm not even close to my grandfather. I actually don't have one memory of us having a conversation with just the two of us, or even sharing a hug. Maybe I'm reacting this way because I've never had anyone in my life get really sick like this, I can't name a person close to me that has passed away. Believe me when I say, this makes me an extremely lucky person. Very few people go 21 years in life without having someone very close to them getting very ill. I'm thankful for that at least.

Jobs Galore!

2005-03-07T16:56:00.000+10:00

The interview went really well today. Both of the lads that interviewed me seemed nice, but one of them was only about 5 foot 4. Being the huge 5 foot 7 that I am, I absolutely towered above him. It felt really bizarre to look down on a man like that, especially one that might be a perspective employer.

I also got called up for a short contract in a call centre. It feels really weird to imagine myself in that sort of situation, I'd be more likely to tell someone to get bullocked then to try and explain something very simple. Don't know how T. does it!

I'll let you know how it goes though...........

New link

2005-03-06T14:36:00.000+10:00

I've added a new link to my blog, Diary of an Office Wench. This blog, in my opinion, is one of the most clever, insightful, entertaining pieces of craftmenship ever to grace the blog pages. I know for a fact the T. is a highly intelligent human, her intelligence perhaps only surpassed by the wonderous knowledge of her best friend, BeFri.

Ok, I'm bullshitting. Not really though, this is my best friends T.'s blog, that's right, I'm the famous BeFri. It's an extremely well written blog, very easy to read, highly entertaining, extremely witty and you can absolutely see that T. enjoys being the author. If you want something entertaining to do for a couple of hours, I suggest reading it!

Beer headaches are not fun!

2005-03-06T13:42:00.000+10:00

Definitely not. I only ended up having three pints last night, but now I seem to have a killer of a hangover. The night, unfortunately didn't turn out to be as good as was hoped. We arrived at our local bar, probably around 9:30pm, to see that our two favourite staff were off for the night. This wouldn't have been a big deal usually, but we were going to be saying goodbye, not only because T. is leaving the country very soon, but because the pub will be closing in a couple of weeks time. We decided to have a pint there anyway, and we scoped the bar to see if T.'s crush had turned up. He hadn't. We decided that if he didn't turn up by the end of the pint, we'd go out elsewhere. This led to us walking to the valley to see if we could find somewhere interesting to sit down and have a pint.

Apparently this was not going to be the case. We walked into an absolutely packed bar, wrestled our way in, and found a spot, leaning against a very narrow ledge. T. went off to fetch the beers, and I was left to fend for myself. I glanced around and noticed a startlingly large number of 20-something-year-old men around me and very few women. Every one of them seemed to be looking in my direction. I looked above me to see a massive plasma screen, only a few inches above my head, playing the latest English premier league game. Good god.

Just as T. returns, a young guy wearing a plastic gold crown swaggers past and joins his group of mates. He takes out a niko pen, and starts asking the very few women present to peel down their tops so he can sign his name above their breasts (this action was followed with T. exclaiming, "He's not famous! Why does he think he has the right to do that? He's not goddamn famous!"). One particular girl found it extremely funny and couldn't wait to peel down her top. He started writing (which we later found out to be "I love Hoss", very original), after he finished he would usually be letting the girls tops go and thanking them for participating in such a rewarding activity. Instead, he rips down her bra exposing her entire breast and proceeds to suck on her nipple! I was absolutely shell shocked. T. just stood there repeating, "he didn't just....? No, he didn't! Did he? Did he just...? No, he wouldn't!" All I could muster to say was, "we're on a goddamn episode of Uncovered!"

For those of you who don't know, Uncovered* is an English show which follows groups of European people as they go on holidays to different well known party hot spots. Tenerife, Greece, Miami and so on. On this show, they seem to only pick the holiday goers who don't stop drinking, shagging and spewing everywhere. As there is a great deal of flesh exposed on this show, I found it only apt to think we where a part of the festivities, and then proceeded to look around madly for the camera crew.

We decided that it was probably in our best interests to get out of there, post haste, so we necked the rest of our pints and made a beeline for the exit. After much deliberation, we decided that going back to our local was probably the best idea. So we jumped in a cab (crazy driver) and were back at the pub in 5 minutes flat. We hopped out, the bouncer winked at us, and we proceeded inside. It was actually pretty packed by that time, so we squeezed through the crowd, making our way to the bar. As we walked by a group of guys, one very intoxicated guy in a suit saw me, slurred "G'day sweetheart", and tried to grab my arse. I was definitely not in the mood for this, so, as he went for the grope, I balled my hand into a fist and proceeded to swing it back, hitting him square in his elbow and exclaiming "Piss off!!!!". I totally forgot about the incident and got a beer, sat down, and started chatting with T. When I was almost finished my pint, T. had to nip off to the loos, leaving me, yet again, by myself. I was looking around and then the SAME guy that I physically abused came up and started hitting on me! Don't they ever learn?

After some slurred speech from him and a, "don't worry about me, I'm off my tits" pick up line, we decided to call it a night, running away when he turned his back. We hailed a cab and headed for home, reminiscing of the times we used to go out and meet nice, good looking, sober boys, just eager to have a conversation with us. Sigh.

*Couldn't find a link to Uncovered, terribly sorry.

2005-03-06T01:03:00.000+10:00

My beer of choice for the night, as well as the braclet that I plan to wear.

Out we go!

2005-03-05T19:40:00.000+10:00

Very much looking forward to the consumption of great amounts of alcohol tonight! Definitely hoping for a very good night. The shopping trip went extremely well with T. today. Ended up buying my chesty bonds, one black one red. I also purchased an underwear set that is totally impractical, but I know that retail boy is going to love. Actually, I know for a fact that he does love it, because I put it on and he said "Phwoarrrrrrrrr!". This was followed by, "Turn around! (I oblige) Phwoarrrrrrrrr!". Boys are easy to please.

Whilst I was choosing attractive underwear, T. went to the bargain rack where she managed to get some bonds undies for only 3 bucks apiece. These were some of the ugliest undies that I've ever seen in my entire life. Her reasoning: "I can't be traipsing (not sure if that's spelt right) all over Europe in uncomfortable g-bangers." Fair reasoning I'd say.

Will regale you of the drunken tales tomorrow!

Other things that need mentioning

2005-03-05T11:28:00.000+10:00

Here are some things that I need to remember when I go out:

Leave the key for Retail boy so he doesn't have to break in to the house like a bum.
Constantly make sure that my top is always in its right place (I looked down at one point and half of my boob was exposed, covered in bra though thank god)
Men take you flickering your eyes over them once as a come on. They then spend half the night looking at you.
Stay away from the two guys that are at least a decade and a half older than you who yell out "Oh shit! They're leaving!" when you get up to go to the loo.
Dancing against the bar whilst waiting to be served is not a good idea. When you look around after you've done it, you'll see at least four men smiling at you.
Dancing near very intoxicated young girls is also not the best of ideas. This usually leads to being hit in many different areas by many different limbs and accessories.

Adventures of Spew Man

2005-03-05T10:07:00.000+10:00

So, apparently T. and I are going out for beers tonight. I just bloody hope that it doesn't turn out like my dream. I think that we're going to start out at our local as T. wants to be able to say bye to people who she's met there before she goes overseas. One person in particular anyway (guy that she's had a crush on forever! Who has crushes at 21 anyway? What a gaybo).

I'm also hoping that it doesn't turn out like last weekend. This is how the events unfolded. T. and I were sitting at a table that was sort of out of the way just talking about random things when a young guy which I'll call SpewMan (the reason behind his name with become evident as the story goes one) sidled up next to me.

SpewMan: (imagine the slurring) "How are you two going then?"

Me: "Fine thanks."

SM: (completely turns his back on T.) "So, where else have you been tonight?"

Me: "Nowhere, this is our first stop."

SM: "Really? But it's already 11. Have you been drinking at home then?"

Me: "Nope, this is my first pint."

SM: "What you should do is have 10 drinks at home (leans in), saves you a shitload of money."

As he leans in he reeks of fresh vomit. I immediately have a gag reflex and grab T.'s hand across the table mouthing "SAVE ME". He looks at me holding her hand and says, "oh, you two are, oh, sorry, didn't realise," and walks away. I sit there looking perplexed for a moment, then it hits me. He thought we were together. I mean together together. I don't mind one little bit. T. is one of the hottest girls I've ever met. And she got rid of SpewMan for me.

Odd dreams and aftershave kisses

2005-03-05T08:08:00.000+10:00

Retail boy woke me up with aftershave kisses this morning. Aftershave kisses mean that he's just shaved and whacked on some aftershave and came to wake me up. The first thing that I could smell was his aftershave. The first thing that I said to him though wasn't the usual "I love you," it was, "I had a dream last night that I asked you how much money you had in your account and you said, 'about 8 dollars, we should be fine'". I was obviously aghast, and when I told Retail boy this morning he replied, "don't worry sweetie, there's at least 9 in there for sure." Always a comedian.

But seriously, I had a seemingly endless supply of weird dreams going on last night. In one particular eerie one T. and I went out for a night on the town, except we were instantly teleported to the place (which I don't know where it was but I'm sure I've never been there in my life). And I look down and discover that I'm wearing absolutely nothing on the top half of my body. So, I'm walking around what looks like a club using my arms and hands to try and make myself look a bit more decent, and I look down again and realise that I'm not actually wearing any pants, only a pair of undies. But apparently this is fine to me, and I walked around trying to cover my front as best I could. Then, T. and I ran into our old friends from high school who have now turned into boring wankers. I look down again and I'm now fully clothed thank god, and we start dancing with the gaybo ex-friends. Then, the club (ooooo, I hate the fact that I went to a club even if it was in my dream, I pride myself on the fact that I NEVER go to clubs) turned into a scene from Halo and I have an assault rifle in my hands and I'm having to shoot aliens. The dream ends with me winning, so at least that's a positive.

Off for a day of shopping with T. in the near future. We're going to buy chesty bonds. Two for 12 bucks.

WHAT A BARGAIN!?!?!?!

Who wouldn't love the intern?

2005-03-04T17:02:00.000+10:00

If you want some light reading check out "I'm an intern in New York". This blog is very well written, and the author knows how to make fun of himself. That's definitely a quality that I admire.

2005-03-04T16:45:00.000+10:00

My puppy, cutest dog in the world. Biased? Moi? I sincerely think not!

Introducing my dog, the freak!

2005-03-04T16:40:00.000+10:00

One of the only good things about moving back into my mum's place is that I'll be able to see my gorgeous puppy all the time! She's the sweetest little thing, very good-natured, and one of the smartest dogs you'll ever meet in the entire world, if I do say so myself.

The only problem is she developed an eye disease that was prone to her breed of dog, and, well from the photo you can see what happened. My brother isn't the smartest one in the bunch and therefore didn't really interact with the other academically prone. But he had this conversation with one of his not so bright friends:

Bro: "Hey mate, watch out for my dog will ya?"

Friend: "Hey!?!?! What's wrong with its eyes?" (usual response)

Bro: "She got an eye disease, ya da ya da ya da."

Friend: (thinks for a bit) "But then, how does she see?"

My brother mightn't be the smartest one in the bunch, but he had a look of absolute awe at how anyone could be so stupid as to say something like that!

Good for a laugh!

2005-03-04T16:31:00.000+10:00

If you want a good laugh, read the blog "Things I hate about my flatemate" that I've linked to. It's quite well written and will serve people well who have ever had to put up with flatmates who continually give you the shits. I know that I have!

And the winner is........

2005-03-04T14:38:00.000+10:00

For all the Aussies who catched the first ever Australian Video Music Awards on MTV last night, there was a comment from Ozzy Osbourne that was sorely missed. For those who don't know about it, the awards were hosted by the Osbourne family, as well as Xzibit and the unbelievably hot Carmen Electra. Now, from what I understand Carmen has a brulesque show called 'The Pussycat Dolls'. So she appeared out on stage, scantily clad I might add, with a couple of her cronies. They proceeded to strip down to even less of what they were wearing and then Sharon and Ozzy appeared on stage.

Sharon: "Did you like that then Ozzy?"

Ozzy: "I thought it was fucking great!!!!"

Sharon: "Of course you did, I saw you looking at Carmens' bum."

Ozzy: "No, no, no, no........It was her flaps!"

Oh my god! Only in Australia would you be able to say that and not get censored for it! I don't think the audience heard because no one was really laughing at all, but I know that at least one person laughed till they cried, rolling around on the floor like an idiot.

Thankyou whoever made TV!

2005-03-04T12:19:00.000+10:00

If I didn't have TV, I would surely be dead of boredom right now! The only good thing about being unemployed is that I get to catch up on my midday viewing. Right now my favourite show would definitely have to be Forever Eden. For those who don't know, or can't be bothered clicking on the link, it's a show about Americans getting put on an island with a chance to win a whole lot of dosh! As you can imagine there's lots of backstabbing and manipulating going on, and, of course, everyone there just pashes off and shags!!! Before I get one hundred e-mails telling me it's trash, I already know this. It is just one of the reasons why I love it. The other main reason is that I'm totally addicted to reality TV. It's my thing, get over it.

I have an interview for some random chemical company next week, so this puts me one step closer to non-bumdom. I can't believe that I just wrote that! That's about as far from a word as you can get. But, a job will be most fantastic. Not only will it be good to have the money, but I can stop the impending move back to my mothers house. Yes, moving back in with my mum.

You see, I am currently living with my boyfriend (who I will call retail boy, because, well, he works in retail. Leave me alone, I know that I'm unoriginal), my best friend (who I will call T.) and her now ex-boyfriend (who I won't call anything because I doubt that I'll talk to him again after next week because of awful things he has said to me in the past and the fact that he hates me for some reason which is a mystery to everyone who knows me). Phew. Wonder if I needed to get that off my chest at all. Anyway, things seemed to be going fine till all of a sudden THEY (meaning no involvement of either myself or retail boy) had a fight which resulted in T.'s ex-boyfriend saying that we had to move out. T. tried to break it to me that he just wanted it to be T. and himself there, but I'm pretty sure the real reason is that he hates my stinking guts. This concept is totally bizarre to me because I've never ever had anyone hate me for no reason in my life. I like to think of myself as a likeable person! Anyway, they've broken up now and my best mate is going on a trip to Europe for a year without me. Bitch. No, not really, she asked me to go with her, but the lack of moolah has made that chance impossible.

Ah, but it'll be good for retail boy and myself to get out on our own. We'll be able to see if we can handle each others company all the time. We'll have to see about that one........

So it begins............

2005-03-03T12:48:00.000+10:00

So, I'm starting a blog. Not exactly sure why, I don't think that anything in my life is particularly interesting, rarely amusing and never inspiring! But it seems the whole world is getting on the blogging band wagon, so why can't I?

Right now, I am an unemployed bum, living on very little until my next job comes along. Previously I have been Chemist Girl at several different places. I only finished my degree in Chemistry at July last year and since then have done a few different things. I worked in a grease plant which was terribly boring with a pig of a boss who decided that it was a fantastic idea to belittle me whenever possible in front of everyone who worked there. Needless to say, that job lasted a total of 8 days! Then I worked a R&D laboratory for drug development. That job was the absolute cruisiest thing I have ever done. Everyone took absolutely HUGE lunches and did whatever they wanted, and the Boss thought that I was one of the smartest people that he had ever met. Ahhhhhhhhhhh, to be loved!

My last job was only for three weeks, working at a school setting up practical experiments for teachers. It wasn't too bad there at all, except for the fact that I was bored shitless, until the new lab manager turned up. He was the biggest tit that I have ever met in my entire life. First of all, he turned up in a purple long sleeved shirt with a blue striped tie. Not only was this a massive fashion faux pas, but at that stage in beautiful Brisbane, Australia, we were experiencing approximately 35 degree days. Definitely not a smart move. Then he starts bragging about other jobs that he's been in, how fast paced they all were, and how loved he was at his last work place. The funniest thing was that his last job was actually a position that I had turned down because I thought it would be the most boring, monotonous work ever. When I told him this he exclaimed:

'Well, I'm sure that I would have been in a higher authority position then you!'

'Really,' I replied 'what was the position title?'

He tells me and its the exact same position that I turned down.

'No, no, that's definitely the position that I was offered and turned down.'

He looks at me for a bit, knowing he's defeated, before replying 'Well, I was very respected in that position,' and then walked away.

I was extremely glad that my contract ended the day that he turned up! I probably should have mentioned that I actually do contract work, I don't just go to work for a few days then leave, I'm not THAT much of a bum!

Anyhoo, enough of the babbling, must go back to the job searching. Bah!!!!